Thursday, February 2, 2012

Oscar, Oscar, Oscar

Yes the Oscars will soon be upon us and that means you are eagerly waiting to read what I have the say about them. I won’t go through all the categories in fear this will read like the show itself. Speaking of the show. Next year please get someone else to host rather than a balloon with a painted face. What is with old comedians and plastic surgery? Are they so desperate to get a laugh?

Best Picture

"The Artist"

This has a good chance for the title alone. Hollywood still thinks it makes art. But spending over $75 for tickets, snacks, and a sitter for a black and white silent film? I’ll wait for the DVD.

"The Descendants"

ehh, good not Oscar worthy.

"Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close"

Too painful and released too late.

"The Help"

Seems like many African-Americans hate this film, so forget its chances. Didn’t see it.


Beautifully filmed. Marty will most likely win since he is passed due, although I have a few critiques. 1) While imitating French films the characters seems more like caricatures. Just compare an early scene with one from “Amelie”. 2) Borat as an inspector? Please. 3) Why does Hollywood use English actors to portray everyone from a foreign country? Not only would it feel more authentic to have them speak with French accents, but it would heighten Hugo’s isolation. Marty, for your next project, call me. Second half with Méliés was great. Yes, I said great.

"Midnight in Paris"

Beautiful charming film. Little overdone with the yellow filter. Owen Wilson looked like he was caught between his acting style and Woody’s. Won’t win.


See “Descendants”

"The Tree of Life"

Good time to catch up on that much needed nap.

"War Horse"

Remake of “Frances Goes to War” but without the laughs. Boring meandering plot. Only one decent scene with the cavalry charging the machine guns in an old world meets new. If Spielberg didn’t have his name on this it wouldn’t have made the cut.

My pick? “Thor”. Out of all the nominated films I couldn’t watch any twice. That’s the true test of an Oscar winner. Be honest, which of these would you watch more than once?

Actor in a Leading Role

Demián Bichir in "A Better Life"

Never heard of it.

George Clooney in "The Descendants"

I wasn’t sure about this pick until I talked to my wife. She was deeply saddened watching this film. Sad? Did we see the same film? Here’s a brief summation. Clooney’s character is married to a horrible woman that apparently is a crappy mother and is having an affair with Shaggy. She is in a boating accident and dies. The guy is a lawyer whose family owns a billion dollars of Hawaiian real estate, his kids start to love him again, he lives in Hawaii, AND he looks like George Clooney! And everyone feels bad for the guy? That, my friend, is acting.

Jean Dujardin in "The Artist"

I’ll get back to you.

Gary Oldman in "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy"

Someone tell the academy remakes don’t win.

Brad Pitt in "Moneyball"


Actor in a Supporting Role

Kenneth Branagh in "My Week with Marilyn"

Sorry but I just can’t see him as Marilyn.

Jonah Hill in "Moneyball"

Was he in this?

Nick Nolte in "Warrior" Really?

Christopher Plummer in "Beginners"

Chris is long, LONG overdue. One of the best actors around today.

Max von Sydow in "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close"

Max is long, LONG overdue. One of the best actors around today. Wait, did I just…Aren’t they the same person?

Actress in a Leading Role

I didn’t see any of these movies, so I’ll just pick Michelle Williams since Hollywood loves Marilyn. Besides, everyone is sick of Meryl, “The Help” is too controversial, Rooney comes from money, and Glenn Close really is a man. Why do you think they call her Glenn?

Glenn Close in "Albert Nobbs"

Viola Davis in "The Help"

Rooney Mara in "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"

Meryl Streep in "The Iron Lady"

Michelle Williams in "My Week with Marilyn"

Actress in a Supporting Role

I only saw “Bridesmaids” and comedies very rarely win. Besides, does anyone really care about this category? Can’t they move it to the technical night and make the show shorter?

Bérénice Bejo in "The Artist"

Jessica Chastain in "The Help"

Melissa McCarthy in "Bridesmaids"

Janet McTeer in "Albert Nobbs"

Octavia Spencer in "The Help"

The saddest comment is the number of original songs nominated. Just two and they had to scrape iTunes clearance barrel for them. Maybe the Academy should just skip categories some years. However, I think it will be a big night for Scorsese who made a film the Academy can get behind.

Overall it promises to be one of the most mundane years ever. I think the only thing that will help is if Vegas sets some odds. What’s the over/under for GOP jokes in the monologue?

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