Monday, January 2, 2012

Resolutions? Really?

I suppose you want to read something all cheery and full of hope for the New Year? Well, you’ve come to the wrong place. I’m still suffering the effects of my money hangover to be optimistic.

I started the year off in the right frame of mind but by the 2nd of January it was only a dim memory. You see for this year I made a whole list of resolutions that would bring great changes and much joy to my life. Oh they weren’t for me, but for my loved ones, family, friends, fellow motorists, theatre-goers, restaurant guests, and any strangers that I happened to meet along the way. For some reason, however, they were less than enthusiastic upon receiving my unsolicited advice. I haven’t seen such strong resistance since France in the 1940s.

And they weren’t just for my benefit. I have been exposed to enough bad habits, poor hygiene, misguided parenting, and mental disorders that could serve as the new lineup for TLC. And yet…oh well. That’s the last time I try to help. Well, maybe the second to last.

I do have one more resolution. This one is for the news media. It seems every year for as long as I can remember they dig up a story about a good Samaritan helping a family in need, getting them gifts for under the Christmas tree or paying off a much needed debt. And while these stories warm the cockles of my heart (yes I have cockles, but the doctor promised me he could get rid of them) it got me to thinking. Aren’t there any Jews, Muslims or, God forbid, atheists out there that could use some help? Don’t they ever have problems during Chanukah, Ramadan, or Festivus? Couldn’t the media show someone helping out a non-Christian for once? One of the principles of this country is Freedom of Religion, and that is with half the founding fathers as practicing atheists. I guess what I’m asking for is a little Freedom From Religion.

Even as I write this I can hear some of you saying, “Well, he’s going to Hell.” You may be right. Please believe me I’m not trying to be anti-religion. I just think sometimes we forget that we should love and show kindness to everyone, not just the ones that believe what we believe.

A fortune-teller told me a few years back that I'll probably die in my 50s or 60s. So I decided to enjoy what time I have left, to be less concerned about money, less critical, and be a kinder person (How am I doing so far?). If she was right I'll enjoy my remaining years. If she was wrong I'll be asking people if they want two percent or whole milk in their lattes when I'm 75 while trying to make ends meet.

And who knows. Maybe the Mayans will be right and we're all going in 2012. Although, why would anyone put much faith in a race of people that couldn't figure out how over one million of them could beat two-dozen Spaniards is beyond me. When the time comes and if there is a God maybe He’ll be a regular guy and say, “Well you are a complaining little bastard, but what the hell c'mon in.” Either way, I’m okay with it. And I suppose if I want to be a better person I should start now and wish everyone a wonderful 2012. I hope you receive all that you long for this year, unless of course you’re Mayan.

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