Monday, November 15, 2010

Fall back, spring out an open window.

Marriage, or as I refer to it a government sanctioned Stockholm Syndrome, is never easy and at times challenging. Anyone who says they have a perfect marriage and never fight are either liars, heavily medicated or both. And marriage is not the same as living together, no matter what a morning news show is telling you. You can learn to live with almost anyone; friends, parents, kids, sexual partner, salesman, but making decisions and compromising, well that's a whole different wild animal my friend.

For instance, we had to buy a new bed for our dog, Daisy, because she didn't like the one she had. I find this odd because she never said a word. And I didn’t even place in this argument. The bed had to be a special ordered one with her name embroider on it. Daddy’s little cur is over twelve years old now. With my luck it will curl up and die before we get it out of the box (the bed that is) and I’ll end up having to name our next dog Daisy just so I can get my money's worth out of the bed.

A simple thing like setting our clocks back, as we just recently did, could be an innocuous task. But do not jump to conclusions my friend, especially when we have an extra hour to do so. All sorts of emotions, desires, animosity, longings can surface at such times. Enclosed is a sample of my conversation with my dear wife at one am, the morning of the event. I purposely removed our names since it is really pointless which side of the time continuum fence you are on. Although, anyone who has meet me can tell in the first five minutes how uptight I am and my responses.

“C’mon, let’s go to bed.”

“It’s only 12.”

“Well, it’s really one.”

“So what. We’re gaining an hour. You can sleep until nine.”

“Nine my time or your time?”

“Listen, stop acting like an old man.”

“What do you think is killing all the honeybees? It’s from collecting the wax for my birthday candles.”

“Just relax and find a movie for us to watch.”

“We’ve seen everything On Demand and Netflix. The only thing left is our worn out VHS copies of Dark Shadows.”

A glare and then silence…


“When we first got married you were a lot of fun. Now, I can barely get you to do anything.”

“That’s not true. You can get me to go to bed. What’s wrong with getting a little extra sleep?”



“Don’t you want to stay up with me?”

(flat) “Yes.”

“No really?”

(as a board) “More than anything.”

“Fine. Go.”

“Okay, they’re showing 7 Days in May on TCM, which is about how long this night is. Why don’t we watch that?”

“How many times can you watch the same movie?”

“A million.”

“Will you make us some popcorn?”

(boardlike) “Fine.”

And so it went.

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